An apple a day....

makes me want to scream! I know I have said this before but I can't stand to listen to people eat apples... they should be banned from the workplace or at least made to where you can only eat them outside!

So this past week was quite interesting and I am still exhausted to say the least... Sparklecity was rainy and cold for our conference and I was ready to head back to the armpit of the South and escape all the bad feelings for the city. The only ray of hope in the city that sparkles was the local dive where I ate dinner on Wednesday evening-- The Nu Way. Best burger in South Carolina in my opinion. Oh and I had never had fried mac n' cheese but it was definitely something I am glad I tried. Now, this week is full of salads to help lower my cholesterol after that indulgence... well except for this evening when I join my fellow Blue Hoser for our monthly bang bang shrimp fest and Wednesday when my Bible study celebrates Thanksgiving--this year I am in charge of the rolls. I am starting to think that people lie to me about liking my cooking... you can't mess up Sister Schubert's!!!!!!

Til next time...

Stolen, broken and saying never...

Ok, so for some reason the past few weeks I have heard numerous times the following three songs:
Stolen by Dashboard Confessional, Broken by Lifehouse, and Never Say Never, by The Fray. As soon as one of them comes on the radio or cycles through the shuffle on my iPod, it is like I am in a trance and can't do anything else but get lost in the music and the emotion of the song. Yesterday, I was at the gym and probably a good 45 minutes into the elliptical when Never Say Never came on and the next thing I knew, my eyes were closed and I was moving to the beat of the music. I thought my lungs were going to burst, not only from the exertion but also from the emotion that was rolling through me. If I was a hypochondriac, I would have thought I was dying because of the tightness in my chest. When the song ended, I realized I needed to slow down and recover before my time was up on the machine. I love that songs can evoke such emotion, especially in a very public place with lots of strangers around. I didn't care if anyone saw me with my eyes closed and I know I was mouthing the words to the song. I just let it take over me... and for a moment it took me back to the complete and utter exhilaration that I used to feel when I would ride out on the back 40 (back pasture for the horses at the farm) and just gallop full out and close my eyes and let the wind take me. No fear, no thoughts, just feeling the rhythm of the hoof beats as we moved together across the field. It is like nothing else... I miss it.

Tatoos and the Village

So life and work have been very busy... I went to DC & NYC to visit friends and had a blast. We saw a bride outside our hotel on the day we were leaving the city and it was so fun to see her dad drive up in a vintage white rolls royce to pick her up!

One of the many fun and random discussions had during our trip was while walking around the village and hanging out after dinner one night. Ben decided we would go find some fun which led us to a little cafe, we ordered wine and preseco and sat, people watched (and commented a LOT) and talked. So my favorite topic I chose was while wondering back through Washington Square Park, Ben decided he needed a 2 am slice of pizza, and Laura and I were waiting for him. For some reason, I looked over at her and asked if she ever got a tattoo, what would it be? Of course, we are too much alike and had our similar "Well... I would never get one but..." and I could have told you what she was going to say before it even left her mouth, "a ladybug." I don't remember what Ben chose but it was probably something like a superman tattoo or something like that... but then it was my turn to respond. I didn't even have to think, "I would get my monogram." I am still laughing now... oh to know the real Heather Ann....

Thunderstorms

Ok, so I have not been sleeping too well lately and part of it is my fault... well maybe all of it is my fault. I have really been into several things I am reading and they have been quite difficult to put down. However, I have just had a hard time winding down to go to sleep. And then last night... I made myself quit reading and go to bed early. I was just falling asleep when the big thunderstorm started. As I lay there praying for it to be over soon so I could actually get to sleep I started thinking about thunderstorms and being a kid again. I remember sitting in the window... who does that during thunder and lightning? apparently me... and counting the seconds in between the clap of thunder and the next lightning bolt. Someone once told me that if you counted the seconds in betweeen, you could tell how far away the storm was. The only thing was, I didn't know the formula! So, I would count the seconds and guess.

I am not really scared of storms and I still tell myself that it is God and the angels bowling... as my grandpa told me when we were little. But last night listening to the threatening sound and how loud and well really terrifying it sounded, it made me laugh harder at that notion. Then the nerd in me came out and I really wanted to research as to what thunder really is and what causes lightning... because apparently I wasn't paying attention that day in class...

HAJ

Recap... Vacay and missed time

Sorry for the long absence and no posts in a while... I threw a baby shower for the lil ML momma-to-be and then had a busy week of Jr League'n and then flew off to Memphis or as Lander calls it "The Midwest" for 11 days. I missed two episodes of the Bachelorette watchin' with the girls, played with Emma Sanders and traded fireworks for bubbles-- the only thing appropriate for a 19 month old, set up my parents new wireless network and all the trimmings of a new iMac, spent countless hours watching Wimbledon from the elliptical at the gym (and the sofa), ate and ate and ate, spent loads of time with my mom's sisters and cousins, and played in the pool, oh and let's not forget--- SHOPPED. All in all, it was sort of a vacation but good none the less.

Coming back to work was a bit hard, especially after getting in late last night and feeling as if I had just laid down when I woke up at 6-- I didn't even need the alarm! But I am tired today... and foodless so I have already eaten 2 meals out and will be eating dinner out as well-- but Tuesday evening traditions are important!! I did "watch" the missed Bachelorette episode from last night from my desk (I was on the plane). It was horrible to have to watch by myself. I had some many moments of "did you see that??" or "can you believe he said that??" with no one to share them with... but that didn't stop me from emailing my comments as I made them and sent them off to my Bachelorette Babes for their approval of my reaction. In the end I was so glad that Wes was gone and a bit embarrassed by his "diary of the departed." That was worse than the trucking guy or the girl who complained that her eggs were rotting (ewwwww)!

So, now we have a short week, a bachelorette (a for real one) party this weekend, and the beginning of the Twilight Book Club. I also have about a million things to do at the house and well decide if I am going to DC or NYC next weekend. I would love to do both... perhaps take the train up on Sat??? So fun! Well shall see...

I am so OVER Michael Jackson and cannot wait for the return to normalcy. Hopefully, the Today Show will be back to normal by the end of the week. I think it was put best by Ted Casablanca of E!News... "Are people mourning the Michael Jackson of 1989 or of 2009?" My point exactly... the crazies that love him today, love him for who he was in '89. At least Elvis will not be the only one with a "Graceland" and now we have a candlelight vigil to start looking forward to in his honor as well... gag me! However, if you are ever in Memphis in August, look for the candlelight vigil scheduled. It is great entertainment if you have never been.

Ok... so I better go get some work done. I am muy busy-- not muy grande like Reid (how I love Reid)!

Peace out!

Versatility

So... if you don't know by now, my friends and I really enjoy watching The Bachelorette (and The Bachelor when it is on). We gather together each Monday night ready to rehash anything from the previous week and wait to see who lost their change to continue to woo Jillian. We were sad to see Ed go but we took a vote and if we were in his shoes (and there were 9 other girls still in the running) we would have left also. We are tired of Wes and Jilli's inability to see through him but Chris Harrison hit the nail on the head reminding us that we have all been in that place where friends kept telling us to run the other way (umm if I weren't so ashamed I would totally drop he-who-must-not-be-named's name). So Mark got kicked to the curb but Chris also gave us some good insight into that in his blog-- thanks Chris. We truly believe that if we lived in LA and knew you, we would be friends.

So, we all had choice words when Fleiss showed us what is to come in the next few weeks in Bachelorettehood. We were not pleased... or really we were shocked. And appalled. His shock and awe tactic definitely worked on us. We are hoping that it is less shocking once it comes around... but we will see.

So, yesterday I was at the gym. Jamming out to Taylor Swift (p.s. if you haven't seen this... go watch it http://www.cmt.com/videos/misc/401599/thug-story.jhtml). I had just hit full stride when my cell phone blinked at me. I thought... missed call? Who is calling me now (it is rare for someone other than my mother whom I had just hung up with to call at this time of day)? I picked it up and saw that it was not a call but a new email. Not that it couldn't wait but I am a little OCD about email and so I checked it. My friend Ash had emailed in response to me sending out Chris' blog and some other Bachelorette day after info. She had her own recap/info to share and had me laughing out loud. So much so that I tripped, almost lost the iPhone (would have been a travesty), pulled the headphones out of my ears, and gracefully lept back into stride, putting it all off like, "oh I meant to do that." Not only was I unaware that my music was up super loud but not only had everyone around me heard me laugh out loud but i might have let slip or two an actual note as I like to lip sing while running. I am not sure how all of these things are accomplished at once but that is probably why I am so out of breath when I finish and was setting so profusely yesterday that one of our guy friends had to do a double take to see that yes, behind the RayBan's it was me.

I am off to the gym again, let's hope there is no rematch with the treadmill...

Things that should not be advertised....

Ok, so there are some commercials and advertisements out there that should never see the light of day.

(1) Any Olive Garden commercial-- they are awful!
(2) Any pills to help you with sexual activity... they seem to always come on at inopportune moments
(3) Cigarettes... bad, bad, bad for you
(4) Condoms... bad, bad... I mean come on, they are ALL way too sexually explicit!
(5) Any commercial that involves someone that works for/in/at the place of business and singing about it... anyone remember "the mini mall" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ3oHpup-pk
(6) Preparation H commercials... we all know what it does, it removes the puffiness around your eyes for beauty contestants!
(7) Adult diapers... not even going to go there... honestly, if you need them, you will find out what brands they have
(8) Viagra or any of that junk. Let's be honest if you need it, you are going to find out where you can get it. Plus, it seems to be getting plugged in different shows... stay tuned to the Bachelorette apparently!

Got any to add???

Cake

The worst part about working in an office with a variety of people is that they are always bringing in food they have made... now most people would see this as a plus. However, for someone who does not have the greatest metabolism, this is problematic. In addition to all the food being brought in, we also celebrate EVERYONE's birthday individually, and with cake, an amazing Bi-Lo cake with buttercream icing. So for the 30 something people who work here, that means about 30 cakes a year. That is more than two a month. Thankfully, we are trying to cut that down with only one cake a month and therefore today we had one cake. I couldn't resist. Plus, everyone makes you feel bad for not accepting cake. They start in with you are the young one, or you are skinny, or whatever false accusation they throw at you to entice you to join them in eating the cake. So I did, I caved, and it was good. So good, that I took a BIG piece. Not an end piece, but a BIG one. Then I proceeded to eat every bite... really I savored every bite. I will not think it was worth it when I hit the gym tonight and add an extra 30-45 minutes of cardio to try and work off even the smallest bit of the cake.

So, this is to say, although birthday cake is very good, it is the devil....

Fergie

No the topic of this blog is not the singer Fergie but a much more famous Fergie that lives right here in Columbia, SC. Dr. Sinclair Ferguson, or as he is affectionately known in our circle, Fergie Ferg. I think one of the youth came up with that.

Yesterday, the sermon was phenomenal. I often want to leave immediately from the sermon to be by myself and reflect over what has just been said. I am not one for retention unless it is immediately thought over again.

On the way out of the church, I was walking through the side door towards Lady street and Dr. F was standing in the doorway. He said, "I'll suck in and maybe you can pass by." I replied with something like, "I am not that big, I'll fit." But what I really wanted to do and say was, "Suck it in buddy!" And punch him in the gut-- ever so lightly. I am sure had I done this, that I would have gotten a big laugh out of him but probably not out of the little old church ladies trying to make it to their cars....

Fake Out

So, while perusing Allure magazines website today, I came across the funniest thing. I so want one of these! I mean it is just hilarious... some guy had to definitely come up with this. Introducing the Ms.Taken...http://mstaken.com/buy/

If I lived in a city where there actually were single guys around, I would have one of these. Too funny!

Hopefully, I will be inspired to blog something later but these past two days have been kind of dull... not sure if that is a good or a bad thing!

Hawaiian shirts, the Bach and more...

So I didn't get to blog this weekend with one roommie moving out and another moving in. Also, had lots on my list to accomplish and slowly moving through it!

Yesterday, I was ready to blog but then felt the need to police my assistant who has become so sloppy in the past few months... but I was sitting at a staff meeting yesterday morning and "listening" to the head honcho and noticed he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. I don't get men in Hawaiian shirts. Why is it that they think this is an everyday appropriate dress-- wear a polo shirt or something! I hate Hawaiian shirts. I don't even like them when they are appropriate, well I think the only time they are appropriate is at luaus... and only if those luaus are in Hawaii. Well, as I sat there trying to zone back in on what he was saying I noticed the guy straight across from me was also wearing a Hawaiian shirt... and so on went down the table. I think I missed the memo! I was sitting next to the HR woman, whom I share a great deal of laughs with, so I passed her a note (like in high school) that read, "I didn't get your memo on Friday about today being Hawaiian shirt day." As I passed it, I started shaking a little with the absurdity of all the middle-aged men in my office sitting around in these shirts. My handout quickly became covered with my doodles as I tried to not think about it anymore and to stop laughing!

Soooo, last night was the Bachelorette week 3. We were stoked and ready for some drama. Smaller crowd this week but still the ever faithfuls. We watched a great date with Ed, a kind of boring one at the movie set-- Jilli better not think a career in film is up next-- and then a sad day as Sasha got the boot! And what was up with him leaving on the bus??? Totally weird... made me think that Andy Samberg would come out of nowhere and start singing "I'm on a bus." That would have only made that moment better.

Ok, I am SO over Wes. I am done. I don't like him! I mean he totally ripped that song off of George Strait-- has anyone seen Pure Country???? I'm just saying... So everyone hates Juan. Everyone but Jilli! I feel she might be a little blind. He is too calculated-- but wait Jilli even said that about him. To me calculating= bad news bears. Not that I am a love expert but, I feel like that is usually something they say about the villain in the story.

Let's talk about David. He got so smashed last night (I feel cool saying it that way-- keeps me young-haha). And made a fool of himself and she kept him. But she did give him the first impression rose so she does have a history with him. Glad that Brad is gone-- totally lame!! I cannot believe she kept the foot guy. His montage about the feet was so funny/disturbing/made me cringe. One of the girls said, "I thought it was endearing the first time he said it but then he just got creepy!" Uggh, my stomach's a little queasy just thinking about it. Hopefully, foot boy won't pass go this week. The preview next week promises some drama and we are ready!

That is all for now... off to work some...

Friday!

So today has been a day of normality. No funny thoughts, interesting tidbits, or something to bring me immediately to my blog to send into the webisphere (is that a word??). I did realize that I needed to blog today as I am trying to make it a daily thing. I was reminded to blog when I got a text from my friend Lindsay. She and her boyfriend started this thing where they come up with 15 things for each other to do the next week and for each thing not accomplished, a dollar goes into the jar. They have not decided what the money will be used for but a fun idea. One of the things he wrote for her was to blog this week... so that made me thing, Oh I haven't done that today!

So Lindsay and I are yes, Taylor Swift fans, and we got tickets to her show in Charlotte in September. Well... we are super excited, even if we are surrounded by teenyboppers, i.e. teenagers. So last night Linds mentioned she saw that the tickets for her show in Greenville went on sale today. I said, let's totally go!! I was half-kidding. But hey, you only live once. So we are now spending an entire weekend devoted to Taylor Swift in September. Yes, that's right, the concert on Friday night is in Greenville and on Saturday we see her in Charlotte. It should prove to be a fun weekend away to play!

The most exciting part of my day, besides finally getting my oil changed and tires rotated was while perusing ET online, I came across a wonderful thing. They released 15 minutes of the Twilight Saga: New Moon that is going to be shown on Sunday at the MTV movie awards! Nothing like a little anticipation of November to get you ready for the weekend! That and that on Sunday they are playing the whole trailer on the awards show.

Well, time to start my weekend!!!!!!

Office Pets

So I was thinking on the way to work yesterday what a great thing it would be to have office pets. You know like a dog or cat that lived at the office and would serve as somewhat of a tension soother. I mean wouldn't it be nice to have a friendly face, wagging their tail upon your arrival each morning. I think it would help to cut down on workplace violence.

I was thinking about this when I walked through the back doors at my building. I was greeted by one, one of many, or our workplace pets... a roach. A big flying one that was on its last leg. Then I passed a cricket as I was walking back towards the breakroom to put up my lunch. That is where I encounter the rest of our pets-- yes, next to the breakroom. You see part of our offices are encompassed by DNR. But they are not the culprits. We have an educator (I guess you call her a wildlife educator) and she has many "pets". So yes, I have been sitting at my desk and watched a possum follow her down the hallway. In the room next to the breakroom (remind me to start buying my lunch), there is a small zoo of sorts. We have 3 snapping turtles, too many snakes to count and to think about, some fish, a blind owl, 2 possums (one is a baby named Sweet Pea), rats and mice (probably for the snakes to eat), and some other random things that I don't really care to know about. I have told them that the first day I come to work and see any of the snakes slithering down the hall will be the last day they see me!

I am not sure the office pet idea is a good one... well, maybe if you got to choose, as we did not.

Gaggle of Skanks

Umm yes... I totally used/came up with/said out loud... "gaggle of skanks" at work. While I was referring to something that happened on The Hills, I am pretty proud of my new statement. It did make me think of back in the day, college, that we used to call each other "hoe-bag." My mom hated it!! She would get so mad at me when I would say that... so I often called her one too. I mean it was a term of endearment. Now, I would think it was weird if I walked up to one of my college friends and said, "hey hoe-bag." Now I choose nicknames... I think I call everyone by one. I wonder if nicknames came about from laziness or back to the whole term of endearment thing. I have always been a nickname kind of girl, as in I call everyone by nicknames... even my parents! They are Fred and Weeza. Umm... in real life they go by Frank and Lisa. My nicknames have varied so much in life... when I was little they called me Hazel... because one day I was down at the my grandparents farm in Mississippi and I wanted to call home and my grandpa told me I had to do it by myself. Well, the operator thought I said my name was Hazel, I cried because I didn't think my parents would know who it was! hahah. My cousin Carrie, more of a sister than a cousin, has always called me Heatho.

High school, cruel high school, my best friend Cara started calling me Hester thanks to 11th grade English. I wonder what my teacher's name was... College it was H-A, Ha, Heath, and so on.

OK so back to the gaggle of skanks... I love this new term... just hoping I can't use it in my life but only refer to that lovely thing that encompasses our summer tv-- reality shows, which I hate, except the Bachelorette!

Jon & Kate celebrate Memorial Day...

Monday was Memorial Day and well, I didn't do anything in particular that could be considered in celebration of the day. I did things I would normally do on a Saturday-- except on a Monday this time. I think it would be interesting to see how many holidays people actually celebrate. . .

One thing that was super prevalent Monday (but did not hit my radar) was that it was the premier night for the new season of "Jon and Kate + 8". I am not a fan of this show... so I am not up on all the gossip but I was well-aware of the recent "issues" in their family as it has been splashed on the cover of many magazines in the past week. We were in the middle of our favorite past-time watching the Bachelorette when someone got up to leave to go watch J&K+8... she explained a little about why it was such a big deal. Then I saw a tweet last night that said, "Jon and Kate + 8 teaser foreshadows divorce." Then I just saw on US Magazine a poll where you can vote whether or not you think they should "stick it out." I mean really, we are going to let the American public vote on whether or not they should get a divorce. Then what? Tell TLC the results so they can decide whether or not it plays into their show? Or so that someone related or close to them can go online and see this poll? How would you like to know that people across the country and possibly the world were voting on whether or not they think that they life they see you portray on tv is worthy of a divorce? This is total invasion of privacy. But I guess when you sign on to do a reality tv show about your family you lose all claims to privacy? Hmmm... do you think they have J&K+8 dolls? Like how they make action heroes? Remember Quints??? I think my mom still has those saved up with my Barbies... hahhaa. Ok, so I totally get why people are sometimes fascinated with these lives... I do enjoy a good Bachelor episode and I have been an accomplice in stalking the blog boards after the show has ended...

So I read an article today on Brooke Shields and she is quoted as saying she wishes she had lost her virginity earlier than she did at 22 years of age. She says it would have helped her to have a better body image, "I would have been much more in touch with myself". I almost fell out of my chair. I mean what in the world. I do not think that having sex automatically helps you to have a better body image. What a sad and disillusioned notion to present to young women. I know many young women who lost their virginity far before 22 years of age. Believe me, it is not an automatic fix to body image. Women struggle with their bodies their entire lives-- that is unless they are egomaniacs. Every woman I know has some issue with their body-- no matter what age they were when they lost their virginity. I know many more women who say they wish they had NOT lost their virginity when they did and wishing they were older... like 25 or older, and had waited until they were married. Trying to get a quick fix on who you are by having sex is not the answer. I am not the same person I was at 22 or even 25. Each day the Lord reveals more of Himself to me allowing me to grow and become more like Him. In this way, I am different every day. The answer to having a healthy body image is being content in who God has made in you. We were created in God's image (Gen 1:27)! How amazing is that? Although our sin allows us to feel that we do not measure up in many ways, we are His!